Season 1, Episode 4 - "Girlfriend"

Season 1, Episode 4 - "Girlfriend"

Written By Wendy Dean (Classmate)...

This week has been way cool. I had a party at the house. It wasn’t going to be a mental one like that kid in Australia with the yellow glasses had because mum and dad were upstairs the whole night, but i knew it would be cool because Charlotte Hinchcliffe and her mates were going to come. And everyone knows that Charlotte is the most popular girl at school (certainly with the boys). God i wish i had her boobs, they are really big and cool. Anyway when she did turn up she ended up pulling this really weird new kid called Will McKenzie. What she was doing with a geek like that when she used to go out with Mark Donovan i don’t know. Still she’s cool, so she must have a plan.

And another reason the party was cool was that Jay Cartwright met up with a friend of mine, Damon, that i knew from my old school. Jay said that they met when they had football trials at West Ham. Jay said that he could be playing for West Ham now but they had told him that he was a bit too good for the youth team so he’d have to wait until he was 18 and then he can play for the first team. Although i don’t remember Damon ever saying anything about football.

Anyway the other cool thing this week was the school Blind Date competition. That was so cool, and Neil Sutherland, who i secretly think is actually pretty hot, took part. He seems very clever as he asked about books. Can’t wait to get back to school next week to hear how all the dates went. xxx

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Season 2, Episode 3 - "Will's Birthday"

Season 2, Episode 3 - "Will's Birthday"

In this episode...

It's Will's birthday, and he's planning a suitably grown-up dinner, with a few close friends, and any girls they can persuade to come. Unfortunately, Will's party clashes with a far more popular one, and his friends have to choose between them. Will's mom tries to ruin his life with his gift - a tight black tank top - and insists he wears it. Also in the mix is Simon's sex-obsessed exchange student: Patrice.

The dinner party is a disaster, when the only woman scheduled to appear is an angry stripper they can't afford to pay. After a run-in with some under-aged girls who think they're paedos, they end up breaking into the rival party, where Simon’s French 'greasy' exchange student Patrice proves that even he is more popular than them. When he's discovered snuggling up to Charlotte, it ensures a typically terrible birthday for Will.

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Season 2, Episode 1 - "The Field Trip"

Season 2, Episode 1 - "The Field Trip"

In this episode...

It's a new term and the infamous sociology and geography field trip to Swanage is coming up; all the boys are on board, even Neil who doesn't do sociology or geography. A new girl, Lauren, has joined the school, and Will has taken a particular shine to her. The only problem is that she has eyes for Simon and thinks Will may be autistic in some way - due to his constant and confusing Yoda impression.

Jay is on the lookout for the legendary Swanage MILF, but is continually assaulted by the older women of Swanage that he keeps propositioning. Neil is desperately trying to deflect the advances of an over-friendly teacher, Mr Kennedy, but does get a bottle of vodka out of him.

Carli manages to turn Simon's head - so Will makes his move on Lauren, inviting her to partake on a boating trip. But once the the rest of the boys gatecrash his nautical adventure, madness descends. Simon is in the water and is soon naked and suffering from hypothermia induced hallucinations. Jay sets off an emergency flare when a fish jumps in the boat and soon the entire school see their plight and think they are bell-ends.

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Season 1 Episode 1 - "First Day"

Season 1 Episode 1 - "First Day"

Written By Mrs McKenzie (Will's Mum)...

It was a big day in the McKenzie household today – William started his new school. Now it might not be as fancy as his old school, but it’s much more, i suppose you’d call it, "mixed". And not just in ability but in income too.

I think he was bullied quite badly at his last place; he once came back with his underpants wedged really quite far up his backside, and once we’d got them out it took three washes to get them clean.

I’m sure he’ll meet lots of new people at the school, he’s already off to the pub tonight with friends. I was a bit worried that they might be just inviting him along to mock his glasses, his slight lisp and the funny way he walks with his bum sticking out, but it seems to have been okay so far. One of the new friends is called Mark Donovan and although he looks a little scary he seems like a lovely fellow. In fact when i came to pick Will up from school earlier (he told me not to, but i couldn’t resist and it was easy to park – i just put it right out the front) all his friends seemed to pay a lot of attention to him. And to me!!! They must be very interested in being friends with Will to make such an effort with his mum!!!

So it’s going to be a big year for Will, especially now it’s just the two of us at home because his father ran off with that fucking slut. Excuse me.

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